This weekend it was just you and me Lily.  Mommy was off on a well deserved  vacation so we spent the weekend visiting and playing.

You rode a two wheeler with training wheels for the first time a Belle’s, played with puppies and spent a lot of time jumping on Coco’s trampoline.

All that was great fun, but there is something that sticks out in my mind even more.  Sunday it was just you and I at home alone on a hot day.  We needed some supplies so we got ready to drive to the grocery store.  At the last minute you asked “Can we walk to the store?”  Great idea.  We’d have to limit our shopping list but it would be a good start to the day.  When asked what you wanted to buy you replied with almost no hesitation “Lemons”  Umm… sure.  We’ll make lemonade, good idea.

We made our excursion to the grocery store and returned with the days supplies in hand.

We squeezed all our lemons together and laughed most of the time we were doing it as we each tasted the lemons and puckered our faces.

We took our lemonade out to the shade of the maple tree by the side walk and drank it while you showed me how to play hop scotch.

We followed up the lemonade with big slices of watermelon and chalk drawings of our family.  Eventually as all of our activities finally do, it turned into a wrestling/tickling match in the shade of our big tree.  Afterwards you took a rest and lay your head on my lap as you finished some watermelon remnants.  You let me stroke your hair while you stared up at the sky and talked about clouds and air planes and told a few crazy stories.

Lunch came and went and we both had our naps to recharge our batteries.

Next we pulled out the giant bubble maker and we filled up the neighbourhood with giant bubbles; each of us took turns kicking, poking and biting the bubbles up and down the street while the other took control of the bubble maker.

As we had now had our fill of sun we came inside for a snack and an afternoon movie.  It was Bambi.  You had never seen it before and you were a bit tuckered out so you curled up next to me on the couch and we watched it beginning to end.  It was hard to explain to you why Bambi’s mommy didn’t come back.  I don’t think you understand yet, but we’ll work on that in time.

Oh, on a somewhat related note; about the flowers in the vase, the ones who’s stems were to short to reach the water so they shrivelled up.  You were so sad that they were ‘sick’, so after I added some water to the vase and told you that it would take a bit of time for them to get better I snuck out to the back yard and replaced them with healthy flowers for you.  When you saw them again later you responded with “Daddy!  They got all better!  I’m sooo happy!”  I figured I would tell you about my little deception now before I forgot about it.

We cooked corn for dinner and ended the day with a bath and a bit more cuddling before bed.

All in all it was a day filled with relatively simple pleasures.  Bubbles, watermelon, chalk drawing….  But you know what?  It was one of the best days I have had in a very long time.  A very spiritually refreshing day.  I took a very long route to get to why I started this little note.  What I really wanted to say is don’t underestimate the power of simple pleasures.  The world will throw a lot of complex, wild and interesting entertainment options at you as you grow up.  Some of which will be beyond my imagination I’m sure.  But don’t be fooled into thinking that these are the only way to have a good time.

All the high definition, surround sound, immersive and mind blowing technologies in the world would have a hard time standing up compared to the fun you can have by simply sitting in the shade, eating watermelon and blowing bubbles with someone you love.

I hope you never lose sight of that.

Love Dad.

I always keep you close to me.  Even when I’m away.

I always keep you close

Hello my darling.

In the last week or so it seems that you have made a fundamental change in your exploration of our world.

For the longest time you have  been meticulously cataloging the tangible objects you have come in contact with.

“What’s that?”
“A chair.”
“What’s that?”
“Snow!”

You now seem to have a good grasp on the fundamental elements that make up your usual stomping grounds so the question of the days most recent and those to come is “Why?”

I’ve been very excited about this phase of your development since well before you existed.  In fact, well before your mother and I even met.  I have always wanted to answer the million inquiries that help shape a child’s understanding and view of the world.

I look forward to seeing your quest for knowledge grow more complex, and I promise that as you dig deeper with your questions I will do my best to answer every subsequent level of  “Why?”

A conversation from yesterday at dinner.

Me: “It’s time to get cleaned up and get ready for bed!”
You: “Why?”
Me: “Because dinner time is over, and now it’s bed time.”
You: “Why?”
Me: “Because bed time comes after dinner time and it starting to get late so that means it bed time.”
You: “Why?”
Me: “Because time is generally perceived to flow in a linear progression with later events like bed time following the earlier events such as dinner.”
You: “Oh.”
Me: “Are you ready for bed?”
You: “Yes!”

Glad we got that sorted out. 

I do hope you never stop asking why.  Feel free to challenge me; if I don’t know the answer we will go find it together.  If we have to perform an experiment to find the answer, I’ll be your willing lab assistant.  If we just plain can’t figure it out, well, there’s always a million more questions to consider while we let the stumper ferment in our minds.  Feel free to call me when you figure it out, any time of the day.

“SNOW!?”, she yelled as she looked at me with a toothy and somewhat inquisitive grin; as if she were not quite sure if she was correct in her assessment of the fluffy white stuff falling to the ground.

“Wow!  It sure is, the first of the year!”

“Open the door Daddy?”

I slid open the big glass patio door and we stood with our heads poked out into the downfall of heavy snow like turtles from a giant shell.

The wonder emanating from my two year old girl, my Lily, was as tangible as the snow itself.  She’s seen the snow before but to a one year old a snowy day is much like any other.  To a two year seeing, really seeing the snow for the first time is a wondrous event.  Tentatively she reached out to touch it, immediately recoiling with another giant grin and a giggle when a big flake hit her hand.

“”s cold daddy!”

I stuck my tongue out and tried to catch some with her following suit immediately after like a seasoned pro.  We didn’t catch any but the conversation quickly turned anyhow.

“We build a snowman?!”

I explained to her that it was too dark and we would need more snow for that, but promised we would as soon as there was enough snow.

After some further discussion about the snow it was decided that we will build a snowman when we have enough snow, make it’s nose out of a carrot, and then eat his nose.

We stood there a couple of minutes longer, the silence broken by giggles and squirming to get both at and away from the snow.  The whole while I was in awe of the pure joy and excitement she was experiencing from something many of us older folks grumble and cry about.  At the same time I noticed that I was not grumbling and crying but rather experiencing pure joy and excitement from the snow through the proxy of this bright little pair of eyes.

I’ve heard people talk about experiencing the world for a second time through the eyes of a child; while never really skeptical about it, I never truly understood it until recently.

I love being a dad.  It is the single greatest thing that has happened to me since my birth.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it SNOW!

I’ve always heard the term Daddy’s Girl, but never truly understood it until I had one of my own.

This little monkey grabs on tight and won’t let go.  Once safely in my arms she looks around at everyone, including her mom and waves them off with a “Bye!  It’s me and daddy now, don’t need you guys…”

It makes me feel a little bad sometimes, when she waves off her mom…but I (not so secretly) love it…even when my arms are tired because I’ve been holding her for an hour.

I got to thinking yesterday, that this sweet behavior, may turn out to be a curse when she’s older and decides that she doesn’t need her daddy to hold her and keep her safe.  I’ll just be left with the memories of my little tree frog, clinging to me and drooling on my shoulder.  I’ll smile at the thought of it, but hope that she comes home soon to give me a hug.

I don’t know what it is about me that she seems to cling to so much.  Maybe if I spoiled her all the time I would understand.  But I am no pushover.  I am stern and let her know when her behavior is not appropriate.  Maybe it’s my smell, but as I sniff myself while writing this I think that that probably isn’t it.

I really don’t know, but hope it lasts a very long time.

And I hope, that she always needs her daddy to keep her safe and warm, even when in reality, she doesn’t.

Lily at the Computer

I hope Lily turns out to be a nerd. Probably because I consider myself a nerd, and I think most people want their children to become little mirrors of themselves.  But I also want her to embrace and welcome our new robotic overlords.

I  respect the analytical mind that lives within many nerds, and hope that she can embrace the best parts of nerdhood while leaving behind some of the stereotypical social awkwardness that often comes along with it.

Just in case I haven’t mentioned it lately, you light up my life little buddy…

I love…

• … the way you see the world.
• … the way you smile at strangers as we walk by, spreading your happiness everywhere we go.
• … the way you peek around the corner and say “Hi!”
• … the way you test EVERYTHING to see if it’s edible.
• … the way you blow kisses and say “Bye!” when you’ve had enough of something.
• … the way you surprise us sometimes, with real kisses.  You hold them back for when you mean it.
• … the way you grab a book, walk over and sit in my lap and look at me expectantly
• … the way you get distracted after I’m into page 2 of the book and go get another one…
• … the way you move the mouse around like a pro, rarely lifting it off the desk.
• … the way you help load the dishwasher (Even though it’s not quite helpful yet…)

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday Lily!

Your party was yesterday, but today is the anniversary of the day you changed our lives by becoming a part of them in full force.

Lily eats cake!

I cannot imagine life without you in it. Every day is brighter because you are a part of it, and I smile every single day since you’ve been here.  It’s been a fun year, and you’ve come a long way.  I can’t wait to explore the future with you, but please take it slow, because your mom and I want these times to last forever.

Just for the record, one year ago you looked like this…

One Day Old

Love you sweetheart…

Dad

Well Bug,

After almost a year of one of your parents taking care of you every day, it’s time to take the next step into the realms of daycare.

It’s a tough thing for us to do, and if we had the financial means to stay home with you every single day, we certainly would.  But alas, it is not to be.  (Though I fully intend on playing the lottery from this day forward)

I dropped you off this morning for your first trial day, you reached out for me as I left, and I broke a little.  Leaving you with  a stranger (Though we have done our homework, we didn’t just find her at a bus station) is very unnatural feeling.  But I know you will have fun, meet other kids (I hope you’re not beating them up, bruiser), and learn a lot.

It’s only a half day today, so I will be there promply at 12:59 to pick you up.  I expect a big smile and a hug when I see you.

You have an afternoon and a full day this week, and then next week is the big one, 5 days in a row while we go to work.

Come on Lucky numbers, we’re counting on you.

Love you sweety…

Dad

Dear Lily,

Wow.  You’re walking more than crawling these days.  This is a very exciting time for all of us, but I have to admit, you look like a little prize fighter.  

With all this walking comes a lot of falling.  In the last week you’ve ended up with a fat lip, a goose egg on you forehead, and now a black eye.  Add the the list a couple of little scratches that you manage to give yourself with your razor sharp little fingernails, and your general state of dirtiness from eating and playing in the back yard, and you look like a little street urchin who talks with her fists.

Actually, the black eye wasn’t from falling, it was the discovery that if you set your little pull along toy on the table, then violently yank the leash, it will by the grace of gravity fall and hit you in the face.

Bumping into things is one of the most important parts of your early learning process though.  And that pain does teach you a lot in these days where words are few and are primarily a novelty used to make your mom and I clap and grin like fools.

Despite that, I’m still a little reluctant to take you out on the town, lest an overzealous and overprotective parent (You know, the kind that put helmets on their 7 year olds while they eat dinner to ward of deadly spoon or Jello accidents) think that we are roughing you up!  

You certainly keep us on our toes.  In fact while writing this I had to go grab you off your little plastic bike because you sometimes like to stand up on it instead of sitting on it…

I won’t be surprised if you become an extreme athelete when you grow up.  The though of which will likely put your mom and I into early gravesl, but hey…you have to be you…

Love Dad

Deal Lily,

Sit outside in your garage, or on your patio one night, as severe thunder storms are rolling in.

Have with you, your favourite drink.  I’ve choosen a moderately good scotch.

Set up a comfy chair in the middle of your venue and quietly watch it happen.

Play some music.  I suggest on an AM/FM radio, if something like that still exists.  The interference caused by the nearby lightening can often be interesting.  Listen to the rain hitting the ground, and the trees crying out with the rustling of their leaves.

Feel the thunder as it washes over you, and through you on the particularly close strikes.

Watch the imposing and perhaps agressive clouds marching forward.  So removed from their sunny day cousins.  They bear no particular malice, just the need to release their pent up energy in an blaze of power and sound.

Sit through the lulls and the peaks.  There are often moments of peace among the torrents.  Enjoy them for what they are.  Life in many shades.

Resist the urge to run when it seems overwhelming, and feel your heart beat as your fleeing insticts float near the surface of your conciousness, ready to strike.

Yell back at it if you like.  Yell with the trees and the clouds and throw your energy to the swirling mass.  Tonight I have chosen not to, on another night I will.  Tonight I’ll let it recharge me.

Write a letter if you are so inclined, and see what happens.  It will be different from what you would write if you were sitting inside.  It won’t likely be as rushed.

Do all this my dear, and you will know me slightly better.

I hope one day to do it together.

Love, Dad

Dear Lily,

I’m sitting outside, in the warm humid air after a summer rain, staring at our backyard.  A Corona to my left and a yellow finch to my right.  He’s chattering away, excited that you and he will be spending the summer together.

You’ve just left for a two day adventure with your mom to a cabin near Minden, Ontario.

This adventure precedes another adventure involving the two of us, “Lily and Daddy: The Summer of Awe”

6 weeks of you and me hanging out in the summer, discovering.  The thought of it leaves me somewhat staggered as it is truly a sentence of epic proportions. 6 weeks of you and me hanging out in the summer, discovering…it needed to be said twice.

I don’t know what will come of us on our many splendid adventures to come.  But I assure you…you will be significantly awed by the things we will see and do together.  Why, there are no less that a bajillion things you can find in our backyard alone.  The sights, the sounds, the life…

Even now I’m surrounded by a finch, chatting to a cardinal, about the dove over by the giant monster tomato plant that shelters the small and brave pepper plant from the wind and the elements.  We’ve got a lot to see young lady and I cannot wait to see it with you and be your guide.

I’m hoping to teach you that the world is an absolutely wonderful place, when you know where to look. Over the coming years I want to teach you that you should never stop looking.  Never stop searching for a new flower, a new bug to befriend, or a new way to walk to the park.

I watch you discovering the world. I see the way you intricately pick up that dehydrated mystery pea…cautiously lick it, tap it on the floor, perhaps wonder for a moment the origin of the pea, then place it ever so gently on the top of your head… I see that and l am reminded that if we never stop looking for new ways of doing things we will never be bored.

You are asleep now, heading northbound on an adventure with mom.

I’m sure you two will learn a lot from each other up there.  Always listen to her, she is a very wonderful person and you will learn a lot from her.  Please do have a lot of fun and come home soon and safe.

We are in for a lot of adventure this summer young miss.
Hold on tight, we have worlds to see.

Love Dad

Dear Lily,

Today is going to be a rough day, though you don’t know it yet.

For the last few months you’ve been pretty spoiled.  In order to have you sleep soundly, you’ve been sleeping with us most of the night.  This is the case because when you wake up alone, you have a tendancy to cry, wail and scream until you’re blue in the face.

We hate to hear this, as we hate it when you are upset in any way.  It tears away at us and makes us want to run and pick you up and hug you until you shut up calm down.  Personally, I also like waking up and seeing that you are there, breathing and happy.

However…It’s getting to be time that you sleep in your own bed.  If we don’t start this now, by the time you are out of your crib, you will just get up, walk to our room and demand that we let you into bed with us.  If we refuse at that point, you may start gathering weapons to convince us with.

This is behavior that just won’t do I’m afraid.  So, on the advice of our pediatrician, we are going to start the hellish process of letting you cry it out.  But please remember, we love you.  You are a persistent little lady, so I’m sure you won’t give up easily.  I fully expect 2+ hours of wailing before you put yourself to sleep.  Your mom may have to leave the house for this, and I don’t really blame her.

I seem to be able to shut off the reaction to run and hug you a little bit easier.  While your mom rocks back and forth on the bed, I am able to watch tv.  Perhaps it’s something to do with my growing up in a big family, I had to learn how to shut things out.  But it certainly won’t be easy, so please go easy on me.

So, please do enjoy the day, and tire yourself out so we can make this process easier on all of us.

It’s going to be a long weekend.

Love, Dad

Hi Lily,

Today you are 66% of 1 year old.

In that time you’ve gone from a little immobile lump of cute, capable of not much more than laying around eating an pooping to a fast moving, clawed, sharp toothed, babbling whirlwind of cute.

You exhaust your mom and I, and we may get grumpy about it from time to time, but we love it, and wouldn’t want it any other way. (Except we might have you sleep in your own bed, but I admit I do like waking up and seeing you there, snoring away…)

You’ve got so far to go little lady, and so much to see. I envy you that, and hope you will take us along for the ride from time to time. You’re moving faster than we ever could have imagined.

If you look back here one day, and read these entries about you, I hope you look back fondly, and know that you are the most important thing in our lives.

If you are a teenager reading this…Take my advice and just try to remember that yes, the teenage years are crazy, hectic, emotional, painful and wonderful all at the same time. Enjoy it, for all the ups and downs.

If you are older, reading this as a young adult entering the working world: be smart, work hard and find better ways to do things. Just because the person before you did something in a particular way, doesn’t mean it always has to stay that way. People appreciate initiative and smarter ways of doing things. It will take you far.

If you are reading this while your own child sleeps a few feet away…I envy you. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. Hold him/her tight, cuddle, kiss and enjoy your baby.  Next thing you know, 66% of their first year will have passed, and you will be wondering where the time went too, and you’ll be in awe thinking about how old 8 months really is.

Lily is now 6 months old, and with this landmark, she enters into the world of solid(ish) foods.  We started with some rice cereal to get the ball rolling, and she took to it like she’s always eaten it.  This is hardly surprising as she eats anything that comes into arms reach.

Her 6 month birthday was celebrated at Grammy’s house (Laura’s mom) and included a lovely oatmeal muffin with a candle in it.  6 months does quite warrant a cake, but we thought we should recognize the milestone somewhat.

This weekend has one more milestone.  This is the first time that mom and dad have both been sick at the same time.  Actually lily is a bit sick as well, but she see to be dealing with it better than her parental units.  It certainly is a different experience being sick when you have a little human relying on you to change, feed and entertain her.  Gone are the days of laying on the couch all day drugged to high heaven, watching b grade sci-fi flicks and horror films.  Here are the days of sucking it up, doing what must be done, and hoping she naps for 4-6 hours.

This is the entry where I say

“Wow, my little girl is growing up…It wasn’t long ago that I was feeding her with a syringe and a tube, as she sucked on my finger. Now she is close to eating anything she gets her hands on, without my help. She’s growing up so fast…and everytime I blink I’m afraid I’ll miss something. She will be 6 months old on Saturday…oy…”

Yeah, this is the entry where I say that…

P.S.

Not that this tooth has shown up, I find that I am beginning to develop a healthy fear of our once harmless child….

You’re 5 months old today Lily. Enjoy!