Below, as a matter of public record is a letter to certain members of my family who will not be named, but know who they are.
—————
As you all know I have made choices in my life which differ from many of you. Â As a result I have been ostracized by my family on a number of occasions. Â While this is painful, it has been something I have been willing to live with to a point. Â I have forgiven you numerous times and carried on, respecting your beliefs and your right to them. Â I have respected your choices and have never spoken any ill will directed to you.
It was my hope that in time you could realize that despite our differing beliefs, I am still a good person who strives at every opportunity to bring love and respect to the world. Â I have made mistakes along the way as we all have, and I have always trusted that my family would forgive them and respect me for my overall intentions to do good and be a loving and moral person.
Years have passed and I have learned much. Most importantly I have learned how to be a loving husband, father, brother and son. Â I strive daily to treat others with respect and dignity; lessons I have learned from you, my family, and my upbringing.
Time and time again I have attempted to bridge the gaps that exist in our relationship with kindness and a smile; only to be met with further indignity and slight. Â I have never tried, nor would I ever dream of making attempt to change or challenge the beliefs that bring you so much joy.
This being said; it is becoming ever more apparent that my hopes of living in a complete family filled with unconditional love, the type of family I hope to raise my daughter in,  is simply a dream that cannot be realized given the way in which we have chosen to live our respective lives.  Our diverse outlooks are simply incompatible.  I have attempted  to respect you and your beliefs, but yours preclude any possibility of you respecting mine.  In fact, they dictate that you treat me in a manner which can only be described as 20 year cycle of psychological and emotional abuse.
I cannot in good conscience have my daughter exposed to people who subscribe to a belief system that would willingly support the extreme mental and emotional anguish you have each personally chosen to put me through over the last 20 years. Â I would never put her in that situation at any cost. Â It is a belief and action that is truly abhorrent to me on every level and goes against everything I ever learned about the concept of a loving God. Â I struggle with the idea that essentially good people such as yourselves can support it. Because you can; I will not have my beautiful daughter know you in any way.
Please know that I will never forget the good that you have contributed to my life, and I will continue to never speak ill of any of you.  However beyond that, I will henceforth  cease to speak to you, attempt to include you in my life, or try to engage you on any meaningful level.  Rest at ease that you no longer have to make this continued decision for yourselves;  no option to the contrary exists for you any longer.  Any remaining love and respect I had for you for you has finally been diminished after the years of systemic abuse you have subjected me to.  Should we cross paths in future it will now be as strangers to be avoided.  You need not worry that we may inadvertently strike up friendly conversation; this option is no longer an option for you.
I hope that this brings you some peace and happiness. Â It is the cumulative result of the continued affronts and indignities you have served to me and my real family over all of these years.
You may not believe me at this point, but I truly hope that you find your beliefs to be true, for I would never wish upon any of you that you might come to the realization that you have wounded me and our family so deeply — for nothing.
Please know that this has been entirely my decision, and I hope that no one else in our family needs to suffer because I have chosen to be a good person in a different manner than you.
To those reading this for whom it does not apply; I love you and I always will — unconditionally. You are truly wonderful people whom I am proud to call my family.
To the rest; take care of yourselves, find happiness and love in the paths you choose as you walk them without me.
With a heavy heart,
SMSH
July 2010
I have always thought of you as a great person and was aware of the beliefs of the family. I am sad that the reality of this has been such a great burden on you and your family; (wife and daughter) and I support what you are saying as you have written in a remarkably well thought out letter. I see no animosity or disrespect in your writings. I wonder how you have maintained your perspective lives under such emotional and psychological trauma.
My thoughts and expressions of great care are with you always.
I can not pray for you at this time as my belief has been weakened and am unsure what lies ahead for humanity. Do [we] believe science as we understand and the facts we see day by day come true, or continue to follow the teachings of the last 2000 plus years, sadly I am in the belief of the fundamentals of science and not the latter. If I am wrong so be it, as I see things today the belief of the Trinity is a long standing tale told by people with no means of direction of their own and have allowed there brains to go static, what a sad reality.
A caring friend.
I think this is the most beautiful, pain decision one can ever make. But to do it for Lily makes it all the more important. I have family who have emotionally abuses me as well and they are not even a so called “Christian” I applaud you and I will pray for you and for your family.
I do wish that everyone knew and understood that if Jesus were on the earth today, He would never hang around Christians of any faith, He would be with the people who needed Him. Sadly this is always lost to Christians. How is your faith tested by only being with other Christians?
Just because I sit in a garage doesn’t make me a car, just because you go to church doesn’t make you a Christian.
God bless you and your family Matt