It’s not the ring
Under the covers in our little morning fort she says “Can I have your ring, Daddy?”
After a rough night of tummy aches and restless sleep for us both I agreed and with some effort pulled my wedding ring from finger to let my baby girl play with it. That was the last I saw or thought of it until 15 hours later as I was about to drift off into sleep back at home, far from the hotel and our tent of blankets.
I’ve called the hotel and left a message with a machine in hopes that the cleaning staff or the next residents will find it and set it aside, but my hopes are not high. It feels so far gone. I keep checking my email for a voice mail to come through with good news.
A depressing way to cap off the great dad and Lily water park adventure weekend.
Trying to come to terms with the loss of this precious little piece of metal that has been with me for the last 3.5 years has been tough today. I’m a terribly sentimental person as you know; I’m not ashamed to admit it. In trying to do so I’ve thought about replacing it it with another. But it wouldn’t be the same would it? Wouldn’t it just be a ring? How could it be a wedding ring without the wedding?
Thinking of the ring my mind flashes to the warm and sunny day of our wedding and how amazing you looked as you put it on my finger. I was so happy that day, not nervous in the least. I was marrying the best person I’ve ever in my life met.
I thought of that day in the mall just a couple of months after we started dating when you told me that you would have to nail a wedding ring to my finger so I wouldn’t lose it. Was that a proposal? In a way I think it was, even though you tried to backpedal out of the comment. 
Then there was the fellow at the jewelery store when we actually were looking for rings who in his thick European accent told us with great certainty “You will buy this ring!” We didn’t buy his ring, but I’ll always remember that guy and how we laughed after leaving the store.
We did buy wedding bands that day though if my memory serves me correctly. Yours and mine together at the same store, in the same mall. It was a good day.
My rings was a bit loose during our honeymoon. I clenched my hand in a fist for the better part of the week as we ventured into the ocean together. You being chased and freaked out by the fish. I’m still not sure why they liked you so much, they must have seen in you what I see in you.
I remember sitting the ring in the cupboard above the sink in our awesome little place on Sunnyside. Our first real apartment that was just ours.
Flashes of Lily’s tiny little hands wrapped around the ring. I looked over at you, exhausted and beautiful in the delivery room. I still smile thinking of it.
Then there was the day I lost my ring the first time. I was terribly upset and disappointed in myself. You gave me a hug and rubbed my back as I sulked in bed. (You did the same last night.) I found it in the snowbank the next morning as I made my way to work. We finally went and got it re-sized shortly after that incident.
All of these memories, all of these moments come to mind when I think about what made that ring a wedding band instead of just a small piece of shiny metal. Then, it occurs to me. The ring is not really the important part is it? It’s the memories. And further to that, while it was a common part of nearly every memory, it was a small and in retrospect an insignificant part of the memories. The really precious part of them all was and is you. I haven’t lost you. In fact losing the ring gave me opportunity to actively pour over all of these memories and smile, thinking of you.
As long as I have you, I could have an onion ring on my finger and the moments would be every bit as amazing because it’s you in the starring role.
I still want my ring back, but after a lot of thought today I now know that it is ultimately replaceable. You on the other hand are unique, wonderful and irreplaceable . As long as I have you, everything else is fine.
Love you.
UPDATE:
Shortly after posting this, I got the voice mail I was waiting for. They found the ring in the lobby and it will be shipped out tomorrow. Thank you to the staff of the Great Wolf Lodge. You folks are amazing.
