Lily Elliot Simone

As mentioned, my sweet Lily Elliot Simone is now  a part of the world at large.

We came home from the hospital Monday at about 5pm.  We’ve been faring pretty well, at least as well as we can expect.  We’re all figuring this whole new life out together.

Lily is trying to figure out just how much she wants to eat…We’re trying to convince her to have more than she wants to.  She was a bit jaundiced and needs to drink as much as she can to get all the juices flowing.  She tested ok at the hospital, but she’s a bit drowsy.  We’ve had to keep her moving to stay awake during a feeding.  Little bug keeps passing out as soon as she gets a few mouth fulls.  I feel the same way when I hit the bottle.

   She has big blue eyes that we can’t see in our pictures yet.  But right now they are a royal blue (So I’ve been told)  Very deep.  I get lost in them.

I really can’t get enough of staring at her at the moment.  She’s hypnotic.  It’s not even just the "Holy crap, we have a baby" thing either.  She’s so interesting to watch as she tries to figure out what life is all about.  I’m not sure what she’s learned just yet, but I’m guessing it’s a lot.  And some of it has to do with how to make a really sticky and rather odd smelling poo.  Although she went on poo strike for 24 hours.  This concerned us, bus she is making up for it with a vengeance.

It’s funny thinking about all the new parent stereotypes that I may have scoffed at a little before, and then realize that I am playing into them 100%.  Laura and I were both cheering for poop today.  Yes…to the tune of "Yaaaaay!  Poop!  You pooped!  Yaaaay!"  There may have even been some arm pumping action from dad.

Dad.  Now there’s a word that is still a little lost to me.  I know what it means on the surface, but I’m only just now realizing it true meaning.  Beginning to realize it that it.  Part of it is cheering for bowel movements.  Part of it is worrying about this little life that has been entrusted to me.  Part of it is fulfilling the promise I made the second I laid eyes on her that I will keep her safe and take care of her with everything I have. 

Later, I’m sure I will realize there is even more to it.  It will mean letting her have her friends over for a tween scream fest.  (One of my greatest fears)  But for now, I concentrating on one feed at a time, and one sleep at a time, and one precious moment at a time.

Maybe I am sounding cheesy here, but I am feeling quite emotional the last couple days.   There’s no such thing as being a tough guy when your little girl is looking at you with her half open eyes, dozy from jaundice, almost too tired to eat.  And there is no way to be macho listening to your little bug scream until she’s red in the face because her tummy is upset in the middle of the night.  There is only love and love and more love.  And that’s what you run on when you haven’t slept or eaten in 36 hours.  Just love. 

It’s an amazing thing.  I’m rambling now…So I’ll leave it at that. 

I have to go stare at my daughter now.  It’s been 10 minutes.